Curing Lonliness
by KatySummers
Summary: It's two weeks after Cas leaves, and he calls Dean in a panic because he feels ill. When he tells Dean that his chest hurts and he doesn't feel right, Dean rushes to his side.


Dean was halfway through with his breakfast when he heard the sound of a tinny Metallica song come from his bedroom down the hall. Metallica meant it had to be his personal cell. Only Sam, Kevin, and Cas had that number, and since Sam was still on his morning jog, it had to be Kevin or Cas, and that meant something was wrong.

He jogged over to his room so he could catch the call. 'CAS' was displayed on the screen along with a picture of Cas, half smiling, half confused, not understanding why Dean would want a picture of him, but obliging nonetheless.

"Cas? What's the matter?" Dean asked quickly. Cas was told only to call Dean when it was absolutely necessary, for safety reasons. It had been almost two weeks since Cas moved out, not that he ever really moved in, but they fortunately hadn't had any incidents as of yet.

"Dean…Dean I don't feel right…" said Cas over the line. He sounded terrible, almost like he was on the edge of tears.

"Are you sick? What have you been eating? What doesn't feel right?" Dean asked, hoping Cas wouldn't have to go through his first human illness alone, or at all. Sam had written down a few recipes and foods that would keep Cas healthy, and know Sam it was probably a bunch of rabbit food.

"No… it's not digestional… I, my chest feels wrong. It has since I left, but today it hurts, and my throat and I, I…" Cas let out a sob at the end of his little rant, and Dean felt his stomach drop.

"Okay… okay. Cas, just calm down okay? Go lay down, watch some TV, relax. Okay? Call me back if you aren't feeling any better in an hour, okay?" He can hear Cas crying from the other end and he feels dread in the pit of his stomach. Whatever this is must be bad if Cas is actually crying.

"No! No, no Dean… I need… I think I need you here. Please? I don't know… I…" Cas is frantic, trying to keep Dean on the phone to convince him to come to him. He has no idea why but he needs Dean with him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, alright? Everything's okay. You still in the same place as before, right?" He hears a noise he can only assume is affirmative from Cas. "I'm going to get dressed and I'll be there in about two, three hours, 'kay? Stay inside, check the sigils and whatnot, and only answer for me." Dean has to go see if Cas is okay. There could be some weird mojo shit going down from losing his grace. He could be in real trouble, and need help. He makes sure Cas is calm enough before he hangs up the phone, gets dressed and scribbles a note for Sam before jumping in the Impala.

He arrives at the nondescript, though shady looking motel. He makes his way quickly toward room 41 and knocks three times. He hears someone shuffling around before the door is flung open. Dean rushes in and closes the door just as quickly.

Cas stands there for a moment with a defeated look and red-rimmed eyes before flinging himself at Dean. He wraps his arms tightly around Dean's chest and buries his face in his neck. Dean can feel wetness from tears on his skin and Cas is clinging to him like a lifeline. He carefully winds his arms around the crying man and debates before he strokes up and down his back, trying to calm him.

It takes a while to get Cas to stop crying, and even longer to get him to let go. He pulls back and looks at Dean shyly, and Dean's heart stutters for an instant because he thinks Cas is going to kiss him, but then Cas steps back, looking ashamed, and Dean almost mourns the heat of his body.

"I—I'm sorry, I don't know what—"

"Are you okay? What do you—?"

They both start talking at the same time, and Dean smiles wryly before continuing. "What's the matter? What exactly hurts? You should probably lie down." He is all concern and he worries about why Cas looks embarrassed. He shouldn't be embarrassed of feeling ill and needing someone.

"Oh, yeah… My chest felt… tight, and I felt like I had something in my throat. My… heart kept hurting and I just, I don't know. I needed you. I feel a little better now that you're here…but something…" Cas is sitting on the edge of the bed now and is wringing his hands in his lap.

Dean nods in understanding before shucking his jacket and boots. He walks over to Cas and looks him up and down before pressing the back of his hand to Cas's forehead, but his hands are a little cold from the air conditioning so he bends down to press his lips to Cas's forehead before he can even think about it. He had done it so many times when Sammy was a kid to check for a fever that it doesn't even register with him until he pulls back to see a strange expression on Cas's face.

Dean splutters for a second, "No fever," he finally says before rushing off to the bathroom to grab a glass of water for Cas.

He sets it on the table before turning to look at the other man. "You should probably lie down for a bit." Cas nods and looks away for a second before turning back to Dean.

"Will you lie with me?" He asks looking up at Dean. Dean wants to say no, it'll be weird, even if he thinks it won't. Or that he doesn't want to get sick, even though he's pretty sure Cas isn't. But, Cas is looking up at him with those goddamn puppy dog eyes and he looks so alone and afraid that Dean just sighs and shucks his jeans before flicking off the lights and sitting in bed, shuffling under the blankets and urging Cas to do the same.

"Do you want to watch something?" He asks Cas gesturing toward the TV.

"No." He says, and is quite a minute before asking quietly, "Can we just talk? Sorry, I'm just feeling better now that you're here."

"Of course man. It's gotta be hard, a big change like that. And don't apologize for feeling bad, it happens." Dean sees Cas nod, and he feels a little guilty for bringing it up, but then he feels Cas shift next to him, and he lies his head on Dean's chest. Dean freezes, but Cas snuggles in deeper and slings and arm over Dean's middle and Dean's whole world spins. He wraps his one arm around Cas, and he finally realizes.

"Cas?" he asks, almost uncertain for a second.

"Yes, Dean." He replies and his voice rumbles next to Dean.

"I think… I think you were lonely…" He says hesitantly. He doesn't want to hurt Cas's feelings. He understands though. Cas had his grace ripped from him, he fell from heaven, his brothers and sisters were now turned against him, and the only family he had left in the world told him he had to leave the only place they would ever be able to call home. It was no wonder he wanted comfort.

They were both silent, the only sound in the room was of their soft breath.

"Dean?" Cas whispers, almost inaudibly.

"Yeah?" Dean whispers back, not wanting to upset the careful balance they had.

"I… I love you."

Dean freezes. He loves him. Cas wouldn't… he doesn't… But all thoughts stop when Cas quickly rolls over on top of Dean and presses his forehead softly onto Dean's and looks him straight in the eye.

"I'm going to kiss you now." Cas declares, and Dean doesn't want to fight it, not one bit. He lets Cas gently cup his face and press hit soft, plush lips to Dean's chapped ones. Dean reaches up and threads his finger through Cas's hair and it's so much softer than he'd imagined. Cas makes a sound in his throat and he presses down more firmly onto Dean, kissing him harder and slowly opening up Dean's mouth and exploring every inch.

They kiss for what seems like ages, holding on to each other like their lives' depend on it, making small noises and Dean never wants it to end. Everything he's been pushing down for years finally swells up and bursts through and he's clinging to Cas, and he might be crying because, fuck he almost lost him. He was so close to losing Cas, and he didn't even tell him…

Dean pulls back quickly to look at Cas. They're both breathing heavy and the light filtering in through the closed curtains makes Cas's eyes glow and he tries to kiss Dean again, but Dean hold him back reluctantly.

"Cas… I... I love you." Dean says, and yeah, he knows Cas already said it, but what if he changed his mind?

"I know," Cas smiles, and damn, Dean realises how true it is, and then they're kissing again, more passionately, and Cas presses down and Dean can feel how hard they both are, and he's burning up. He rips his shirt over his head and Cas does the same before they attach their mouths again, and Cas is starting to rut on Dean, and it feels so good, but Cas wants this to last. He pulls back and Dean whines in the back of his throat, but Cas is tugging off their underwear.

Dean sits up, Cas back in his lap, and pulls open the nightstand next to the bed. He ruts around a second before finding condoms and packets of lube, probably supplied by the sleazy motel, because he's pretty sure Cas didn't buy them. He pushes Cas down to where he's kneeling in between Dean's spread legs, and Dean moans at the sight of Cas naked, cock straining from a thatch of dark curls.

Cas is looking down at Dean as if he's the most precious thing in the world, and his heart soars. He grabs a packet of lube and tears it open, coating is fingers before slipping them down behind his heavy balls to circle around his hole. He and Cas both moan loudly as he pushes a finger in. He's panting hard, fingering himself quickly as Cas watches in amazement, panting, moaning every time Dean does.

Dean pulls his fingers out and struggles for a moment to open the condom packet before sitting up and helping Cas slip it over his throbbing erection. They both moan as Dean strokes Cas's cock before laying down and using another packet to slick them both up.

Cas hovers above Dean, arms framing his face, their lips barely touching, and they breath each other's air for a second before Cas pushes in every so slowly, and Dean throws back his head and moans. Cas thrusts all the way in and stops to breath for a second. Dean wraps his legs around Cas tightly.

"Cas…" Dean moans as he is filled up, and it takes all of Cas's control not to pound into Dean. Cas pulls back and thrusts again just as slowly, moaning Dean's name as he goes.

Cas sets a slow steady pace and they kiss sloppily as they rut together. They whisper sweet nothings in between slow, loving kisses. Hands are everywhere, feeling, rubbing, and committing everything to memory. They hold each other tightly and give into the feeling of one another.

"I love you, Dean," Cas pants as he feels himself getting closer.

"Cas… Cas, oh god, Cas. I love you. Love you so much," Dean babbles as Cas moves and strokes him. Cas buries his face into Dean's neck and thrusts once, hard, twitch and moaning loudly, pumping himself inside Dean. Dean moans as he feels Cas tense and orgasm, stroking him with shaky hands, and he shouts and his toes curl as he spills himself in between their stomachs. Cas thrusts shallowly into Dean as he and rides through his orgasm, and Dean ruts and twitches beneath him.

It takes a minute to untangle themselves from each other and Cas grabs his shirt to wipe Dean off the best he can before slipping off and tying the condom, dropping into the bin next to the bed. Cas settles down on Dean's chest again, their breathing finally evened out. Dean holds onto him tightly, cherishing what he has.

"Screw Ezekiel, you're coming home with me. We can work something out." Dean finally declares, just as he's drifting off to sleep.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas. A lot." Dean pulls the blankets over both of them before giving into the lull of sleep.


End file.
